Failing at losing, 09/18/11

Failing at losing, that pretty much sums it up for my progress. Since my miscarraige earlier this year, my hormones have been way out of whack and I've been moody, extremely irritable and depressed. I'm so tired of feeling so blah and unmotivated. I'm tired of being aggravated with my weight, but not caring enough to really do anything to change it. I was doing really well until I found out that I was pregnant and then subsequently miscarried. I wish I could get that motivation back. I wish that so many crappy things didn't happen this year to stress me out. Wishing won't change anything though. Wishing is useless because that's all it is.

Definition of "wish" courtesy of Google:

1.A desire or hope for something to happen
- the union has reiterated its wish for an agreement
- it is their wish to continue organizing similar exhibitions

2.An expression of such a desire, typically in the form of a request or instruction
- she must carry out her late father's wishes

3.An invocation or recitation of a hope or desire
- he makes a wish

4.An expression of a desire for someone's success or good fortune
- they had received kindness and good wishes from total strangers

5.A thing or event that is or has been desired; an object of desire
- the petitioners eventually got their wish

So wishing is useless. Planning and acting on that plan is what will actually change things. So I plan to sit down tomorrow and come up with a long term plan on how I want to change my eating and fitness habits and what my short and long term goals are.

Friday, 09/09/11: Days 2, 3 & 4 Recap

Day 2: Ate well, drank my water, and did the exercise bike for 15 minutes.

Day 3: Ate poorly (pizza buffet is never a good idea), didn't drink hardly any water, took a walk with the family for about 20 minutes.

Day 4: Ate ok (did well for the first half of the day, but dinner was chili cheese dogs, and had too many chocolates), drank my water, haven't done any purposeful movement today. I keep trying to convince myself that I did more than I commited to do yesterday so that HAS to count for not doing any today. I know that it's a bunch of bull, but I can't convince myself to get moving.

09/06/11, Day 1 Recap

I drank my all my water. Yay!

I ate fairly well. Oatmeal for breakfast. Two hot dogs w/some veggie straws for lunch. Freezer pop for a snack (with my son). Dinner was (home cooked)) rotisserie chicken, green beans, cooked cauliflower and some baked beans. Dessert was a bag of Reese's mini peanut butter cups.

I didn't get my purposeful movement in at all. I felt bad that I didn't, but honestly, I didn't really care either.

Sidenote: Comment posting issues

Just to put this out there, I'm having major issues commenting on most blogger/blogspot blogs right now. It keeps telling me something along the line of "you're not authorized to view this page, please log out and log into another account". Anybody have any ideas on what in the world is wrong? I can finally post response comments on my own blog, but I had to change the comment form to open in a new page first before I was able to.

Tuesday, 09/06/11, aka Starting Over (again)

Grr...You'd think I'd learn and stop falling back into old nasty habits no matter what. You'd think that, wouldn't you? Apparently my brain doesn't think that way. So here I am, essentially starting over from day 1 again. So here goes...

Today my weight was 195.6 - :(

My long term goals are: 1) Get to a healthy weight for my height and build and maintain it. 2) Incorporate daily physical activities/fitness into not only my routine, but my family's as well. 3) Stop feeling like a space cadet in a fog that forgets simple things and gets "zoned in" to the wrong things (oh, say, the computer for one).

My monthly goals for September are: 1) Get down to below 190 pounds. 2) Log 25 miles of walking/jogging and 50-100 miles on the exercise bike.

My weekly goals are: to drink my water (64 ounces/day), and to do purposeful movement at least 10 minutes each day.

So for me, I count my week as starting on Monday normally. I just don't like separating Saturday and Sunday - I feel like they belong grouped together. So that's how I keep my weekly calendars setup - starting on Monday. So normally my weeks will start on Monday, but since this week Monday was a holiday and school for my daughter started back up today, today is the first counted day of my week this time only.

Wish me luck! Wish me success! Wish me healthy and fit!