Thursday, 03/31/11

Hmm, not sure how to describe my thoughts tonight other than exhausted! I'm so behind on sleep that it's not even funny. Ok, ok, depending on who you talk to, you can't (or can) get "behind" on sleep and in effect try to "catch up" on missed sleep. I'm exhausted and I'm not getting enough sleep to change that. I need a minimum 2 more hours of sleep each night than I have been getting, but so far it's just not possible. Due to circumstances I'm not getting to bed and asleep before midnight. Bad! I need to be in bed (and hopefully asleep) no later than 11pm at the latest. And on top of this, our son is still waking up in the middle of the night. He's waking up any where from 12:30am to 4:30am and won't settle back down until he's laying with us in our room and has a sippy cup of "milk" (formula). He doesn't have to fall asleep before we can put him back in his room, but it takes 30 minutes to over an hour before he is calm and settled enough to go back to his room. Poor thing. I just don't know what's wrong with him. And unfortunately for me, if he's in the bed with us, I don't sleep. So that's more lost sleep for me.

Today I've had the munchies. Could be from the prednisone, could be from the joys of being a female and having your hormones run rampant once a month. I've been trying to eat well, but well, the munchies have won over a bit. Even mints, hard candies and gum didn't help at all. I've taken in 1917 calories today. Could be worse, but definitely could have been a lot better. Hoping the munchies don't kill me tomorrow.

Exercise was nothing fantastic today. I fit in 12 minutes on the exercise bike at home this afternoon. Yup, just 12 minutes. All I had the...motivation for. But hey, 12 minutes is better than none. I really didn't want to go to the gym and work out with the trainer, much less work out tonight. Apparently my sister felt the same way. We She talked to our trainer and told him that we just didn't have the umph in it tonight and to take it easy on us. He just said that instead of wasting a paid session, to go fit in our own exercise and he wouldn't charge us for the session and we'd get back to it next week when we could give it our all. Double edged sword. While on one hand that was a relief, on the other hand maybe we just needed the push. Either way, my hips hurt bad tonight and am exhausted and just didn't have the energy. My sister was ready to bail out the gym as soon as our trainer said no training, but I convinced her to stay as long as I did. She hopped on the elliptical and I walked the indoor track. She kept trying to get me to quit and leave, but I did about 30 minutes of walking before I said enough. It's hard to keep moving when you hurt and are exhausted.

On the upside, I took the kids with me to the gym tonight. I haven't taken them in a while because our son (18 months) wouldn't stay in the child watch center the last two times I took him. He screamed bloody murder the whole time. So since then, the hubs and I have been coordinating schedules to make it so I didn't have to bring the kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Well due to the hubs having next week off from both jobs to get some things done, he was put on the schedule for tonight. We have a friend in town that offered to keep the kids for me to go to the gym, but since the little guy was in a good mood today, I took them with me. According to my daughter, he did fuss occasionally, but nothing bad. Just for a drink, snack, change of pace, etc. The million several times I peeked in on them, he seemed content and happy. I'm hoping this is a good sign and that I may be able to start fitting in some cardio on other days and finally get to take advantage of the child watch again.

Wednesday 03/30/11

No exercise for me today. Slacker. That's me. I'm ok with it today though. I'm still achy and dealing with that. One day at a time.

I finally updated my weight and measurements for this week (tab at top). The weight and measurements were taken on Tuesday instead of Monday because, well, I didn't get around to it Monday morning. I'm not losing, in fact my weight's gone up again. BUT my measurements are progressing, slowly.

Tomorrow's another day, and I'm going into it fresh. I ate pretty well today and feel content with that since I didn't get any exercise in. Definitely going to try to work on that tomorrow.

Wednesday 03/30/11

So I've had to sit back and reevaluate my game plan for my health and weight loss journey. I've been doing a lot of thinking and researching as to what I should do from this point forward because I'm at a point where I'm floundering. I've been planning my exercise to be all gung-ho and that's obviously not working for me for several reasons. First and foremost being that I hurt too much to do that amount of exercise. Second reason being that I don't always have the time to fit in the exercise I need to at home during the day. And third reason being that we have an extended stay visitor that makes me uncomfortable to exercise in front of. Nothing against our house guest, just not comfortable working out in front of him to do a dvd.

So here's my new exercise game plan. Most weeks (through the beginning of May) my sister and I are still going to be meeting with our trainer twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The plan for those days is to get my hour of exercising in with the trainer, and to also get in 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical at the gym. On days where I don't go to the gym, I'm going to shoot for 30 minutes of cardio at home. I'm going to try to do an exercise dvd twice a week, but that's only if I have time. I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't fit in the exercise dvds though.

My eating is still going ok but could be improved on and I'm going to work on that also. I've gotten away from planning my dinners in advance, and we've just been "winging it" and that's not working for me. So I'm going to sit down and plan out my grocery menues for the next two weeks and shop accordingly. I plan to sit down and right out the menue for the next two weeks either tonight or tomorrow night so that I can go shopping Friday morning.

I still have my Nutrisystem foods, and have been eating them for breakfast daily this week. I have stopped eating the dinners and lunches because I just couldn't stomach them and my taste buds have been off so I didn't want to waste them. I'm going to start eating them soon, once things seem to taste more normal to me. I have been trying some frozen meals for lunch and have found some that I actually like. While I do know that eating all of these meal replacement items aren't great for me, I also recognize that not eating is worse. I still have a hard time coming up with quick and easy foods that I can eat for breakfast and lunch so by eating the meal replacment items, it keeps me from forgetting to eat. I will probably buy another month's worth of Nutrisystem and follow the plan a bit more closely (at least up until dinner time) and see how I do.

My weight has stalled and is fluctuating around 196-199 lbs. daily. As long as I stay under 200 lbs. and don't actually gain any weight back, then I'll be happy. I can live with my weight plateauing as long as I'm not actually gaining weight back.

I did finally get my "under 200" reward of cutting my hair done this past weekend. I went on Saturday night and had about 6 inches of length cut off. Yup, I chopped off a LOT of hair and I feel so much fresher now. I did have to go back on Sunday morning and have it fixed. I have issues with getting my hair cut and one side ending up longer than the other once it dries. And that's what happened this time. My hair started to dry and the right side was about an inch longer than the left. I would have gone back Saturday night, but they were closed. So I went on Sunday morning and had it fixed and now it looks great, and I had a total of about 7 inches cut off.

I've felt some effect from the cortisone shot I recieved on Monday, but I've had more aching in my hips the past two days. I've read that you can have some pain in the surrounding areas for the first few days after getting a cortisone injection, so I'm hoping that's what it is. I started my 16 days of the prednisone yesterday also. Crossing my fingers for good results when this is all said and done. So far I haven't had any negative effects from the prednisone. I've (unfortunately) been informed that taking prednisone can cause weight gain and also the munchies. Oh joy. Lol. So far so good, but I've only been on it a day and a half. I take 40mg for the first four days and then it tapers down 10mg every four days.

Monday 03/28/11

So this past week didn't go as planned in the least bit.

I've had some headaches and just overall feeling blah to put it mildly. I've also had more pain in my lower back (ok, more like butt area) lately. I went to the doctor last Friday and they took x-rays of it. Nothing too much out of the ordinary on the x-ray but I do have what's know as sacralization of the L5 vertebrae to the S1 sacrum. I hope I put that right. So the doctor referred to my an orthopaedic specialist. I went to that doctor today and he looked at my x-rays and did an exam. The conclusion is that while the sacralization of the L5 vertebrae is probably causing my hip discomfort with my right hip, it's not causing my pain. No obvious reason as to why I'm in so much pain. I did get a shot of cortisone in my troublesome area today and I was given a prescription for predisone. I'm crossing my fingers that this helps.

My eating has been okay, with occasionally splurges but nothing too bad. My exercise was non-existant last week. I didn't make it to the gym at all, and I didn't fit in any exercise at home. I haven't done anything so far this week, but I'm due at the gym tomorrow night to workout with the trainer for an hour. Wish me luck.

Tuesday 03/22/11

Weight: 196.8

B: NS NutriCinnamon Squares Cereal (120), 4 oz. fat-free milk (45); 1 large banana (121); light yogurt, Cinnamon Bun (100)
S: Two apples (190)
L: GV Steak, Mushroom & Cheese Panini (320)
S: grapes (138); 1 string cheese (80)
D: Tacos (too many! I'm going to guess and say about 900 calories at least)
DS: NS Chocolate Chip Cookie (150); Atkins Endulge Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie (140)
W: 32 oz water; 64 oz sugar-free drink mix

(B = Breakfast; S = Snack; L = Lunch; D = Dinner; DS = Dessert; W = Water Intake)

Total calories for the day:
Input: +2304
Output: -2266
Difference: +38

Exercise: About 30 minutes of cardio between the exercise bike and indoor walking.

Tonight was supposed to be a night at the gym with the trainer, but he had to cancel for personal reasons. My sister bailed on going to the gym for her own personal reasons. I still planned to go, but my son wasn't feeling well and I opted to stay home to help out with him so my husband and our house guest could get some things done. Yes, I should have still gone, but sometimes life gets in the way.

Monday 03/21/11

Weight: 196.8

B: 1 large banana (121); Zone meal bar (220)
S: 1 large banana (121)
L: 1 apple (95); Healthy Choice Lobster Cheese Raviolo (270)
S: 1 cheese stick (80); 1 apple (95); Shared an Atkins brownie bar with my son (100)
D: Mexican lasagna (550), 2 tbsp. light sour cream (45)
DS: NS Peppermint Cookie Patty (150 calories)

(B = Breakfast; S = Snack; L = Lunch; D = Dinner; DS = Dessert)

Total calories for the day:
Input: +1847
Output: -2164
Difference: -317

Exercise: I did about 10 minutes of indoor walking. Pitful, I know.

So today is my tracking day, and I didn't lose any weight this week, but I did lose in measurements. I'll take that. I would have preferred to see the scale move some, but I'm ok with that because I can see progress with my measurements. Another reason why I weigh and measure myself weekly, if one doesn't change, the other might.

So I've already made it to where I won't reach my exercise goals for this week by not exercising today. I'm still shooting to do what I said for the rest of the week though. Tomorrow is a night with the trainer.

I'm finding it hard to exercise at home right now because we have a house guest for the next month. It's taking a lot of adjusting to get used to having this person in the house because we have different perspectives on a lot of things and it makes my day to day a little bit more stressful. (For example, I watched said house guest rinse out his coffee cup and put it with the clean dishes on the counter. As I told the house guest, if you don't want to wash it because YOU will use it again, rinse it out and set it aside but DO NOT put it with CLEAN dishes!) It's hard to get up and gt moving when you have someone sitting around watching everything you do. I don't know about you, but that's not motivating for me. It's frustrating. I have the desire to get moving, but not if my every move is going to be watched and commented on. I'm going to have to figure out an alternative solution for the next month while the person is staying with us because letting things go for that long isn't good.

Sunday 03/20/11

Weight: 196.4

B: NS Chocolate Muffin (190), 1 large banana (121)
S: none
L: HC Chicken Parmigiana (w/broccoli & caramel apple multigrain crisp) (350)
S: NS Lunch Peanut Butter Chocolate bar (220)
D: Chicken sandwich w/mayo & tomato (385); spinach salad w/tomato & cheese (250); 1 cup corn (133)
DS: Atkins Endulge Peanut Butter cookie (130)

(B = Breakfast; S = Snack; L = Lunch; D = Dinner; DS = Dessert)

Total calories for the day:
Input: +1394
Output: -2139
Difference: -745

Exercise: none

I didn't make it to the gym this morning like I had planned. Honestly, the only way I could have gone to the gym was if I went first thing this morning when the gym opened (8am). I ended up sleeping in until 9:30am. (Have I mentioned how much I love my husband!) Hubby and I both had some things to get done today, so since I didn't get up and out the door to the gym first thing this morning, it wasn't a possibility to go. I'm ok with this.

I'm going to make a plan again for my exercise for this coming week and I'm going to do my best to stick to it. My goal is to get 60 minutes of cardio 6 days this week. I will be working out with the trainer two nights this week, but I also am shooting for getting some toning exercises done on two more days (so a total of four including the two days I meet with the trainer).

Saturday 03/19/11

196.8

B: NS Blueberry muffin (170); 1 large banana (121)
S: none
L: Tuna on toasted onion roll w/relish, light Miracle Whip, tomatoe & pickle (300); Veggie Straws (150)
S: 1 cookie (250), 3 caramel chews (130)
D: Digiorno Stuffed Crust Cheeseburger Pizza w/1 Tbsp. spicy ranch dressing (530)
DS: NS Chocolatey Nougat Bar with Peanuts & Caramel (160)

(B = Breakfast; S = Snack; L = Lunch; D = Dinner; DS = Dessert)

Total calories for the day:
Intake: +1811
Output: -2547
Difference: -736

Exercise: 60 minutes of cardio on the elliptical

Fairly lazy day overall but I did make it to the gym and did one hour of cardio exercise on the elliptical. I had hoped to get some toning exercising in also, but I was limited on time today and just did what I could.

I still haven't gotten my hair cut, but plan to do that either tomorrow or Monday. I also still haven't been to the grocery store, but plan to do that tomorrow.

Friday 03/18/11

197.4

B: Special K Protein Bar (200), 1 large banana (121 calories)
S: none
L: Tuna w/mayo, relish, tomato & pickles on toasted onion roll (300 calories); 1 serving Veggie Straws (130 calories)
S: 1 large banana (121 calories), NS White Chocolate Chunck Cookie (160), NS Coconut Almond Bar (160 calories) (I had the munchies)
D: 1 cheeseburger (600); salad (200)
DS: none

(B = Breakfast; S = Snack; L = Lunch; D = Dinner; DS = Dessert)

Total calories for the day:
Intake: +1942
Ouput: -2120
Difference: -178

Exercise: none

Just not motivated today. I'm trying to do some things with some files on my computer and that took up way too much time today. I'm shooting to go to the gym both tomorrow and Sunday. Wish me luck.

Thursday 03/17/11

197.4

B: Equate Ultra Weight Loss Shake, Creamy Milk Chocolate (190 calories)
S: 1 large banana (121 calories)
L: 1-1/2 roast chicken sandwiches (350 calories)
S: Market Pantry Nutrition Bar, Fudge Graham (210 calories)
D: Hamburger (450 calories); Michelina's Lean Gourmet Buffalo Chicken Snackers (200 calories); 1/2 tbsp. spicy ranch dressing (20 calories)
DS: none

(B = Breakfast; S = Snack; L = Lunch; D = Dinner; DS = Dessert)

Total calories for the day:
Intake: 1541 (foood)
Output: 2729 (bodybugg)
Difference: -1188

Exercise: 55 minutes of cardio; 60 minutes weight circuit with the trainer.

Not a bad number really. Still in range, but definitely need to get to the store and get more fresh fruits and veggies.

Tonight was a night at the gym. I left the gym with mixed feelings tonight. Our training package is good throught the end of April (maybe the first week of May), and when it's done, I'm not sure if I (or we) plan to continue with training for financial reasons. Last night I found out or trainer is moving out of state in July. I have very mixed feelings about this. I'm happy he and his family are doing what's best for them, but at the same time I'm angry that I'm training with someone who obviously knew he was going to be leaving shortly. Why go through three months of training with this person, finding routines that work around our injuries and conditions, only to have to start all over again with someone else if I wish to continue working with a trainer. I'm aggravated and frustrated at the situation.

On another note, I did ask Jeff (my trainer) to sit down and write out reccomended routines that can be done at home, or at the gym (with the weight machines) when I'm not working out with him. He says he'll have that for us on Tuesday (our next training session). I'm hoping he doesn't forget.

I walked/jogged for 10 minutes followed by an hour of a weight circuit with the trainer. I finished with 45 minutes of interval training on an elliptical. I was shooting for an hour, but after 30 minutes I started hurting. By 40 minutes I was hurting worse. So I stopped at 45 minutes. Oh well, I'll shoot for 60 minutes next time (hoping that will be Saturday morning).

Wednesday 03/16/11

196.4 today.

I'm going to post what I eat today. Don't knock me for the "crap" I'm eating and putting into my body. I have a really hard time eating and getting in calories during the day, so I am using a lot of meal replacement items right now. It's better than not eating.

B: Market Pantry Nutrition Bar, Dark Chocolate Caramel Pecan (190 calories)
S: 1 large banana (121 calories)
L: NS Cheesy Homestyle Potatoes (200 calories); 1 toasted onion roll (170 calories), 1 tuna pouch (80 calories), 1 tbsp. light Miracle Whip (20 calories), 1 tbsp. relish (15 calories), dill pickle slices (10 calories), 1 tomato slice (5 calories)
S: Market Pantry Nutrition Bar, Chocolate Peanut Butter (210 calories); 1 large banana (121 calories), 1 serving BBQ Veggie Straws "chips" (130 calories)
D: Two ham biscuits (500 calories), 1 cup green beans (50 calories)
DS: Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich (160 calories)

(B = Breakfast; S = Snack; L = Lunch; D = Dinner; DS = Dessert)

Total for the day: 1861 calories. I know I should have tracked more than just the calories, but today was a very hungry/munchie day and I was doing good to track what I did. I'm in my calorie range for once though. Too bad I had so much processed food instead of fresh fruits and veggies. I need to go grocery shopping and am low on those right now. All I have is a bunch of bananas and frozen veggies.

I didn't get in any cardio today as planned. We're still having a rough time with our son sleeping at night. It's a fight to get him to bed and asleep. And then once he's asleep he will wake up in the middle of the night crying and won't settle back down. Last night we were able to get him to go to sleep on his own in his room with the light left on, but it took about a half an hour of on and off crying. By the time hubby and I made it to bed, it was about midnight. Both myself and my husband were exhausted today. He took a catnap early in the day but I wasn't so lucky. So no cardio for me today. I'll make up for it tomorrow evening at the gym and do something like I did on Tuesday.

Tuesday 03/15/11

Down another pound this morning! 195.8

If I can keep the scale moving like this, I'll be happy! I'm happy now, but I should say that I'll stay happy. Lol.

I didn't do much at all during the day today. In fact, any time I had a down moment from the kids, I was trying to get my computer to run better and running scans. Ever since I hooked up my external hard drive last night, and also started messing with iTunes, my computer has been throwing a hissy fit. I think I finally have it back to "normal". Lol.

I spent two hours at the gym tonight. I didn't get there as early as I would have preferred to because my husband got home from work late this evening. I did 20 minutes of walking and jogging before working out with the trainer for an hour. My trainer and I had some choice words...ok I had some choice words for him at one point. I know I'm paying him to push me beyond what I would do on my own. I get this. But what he sometime fails to remember is that I have injuries to work around: weak shoulder (tore my rotator cuff about 2-1/2 years ago and it's still weak), recovering still from my broken tailbone, bad hip joints and bad knees. In fact I dislocated one of my knees twice in one week when I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant with my son. I dislocated it again today. It hurts like a SOB when it does, and thankfully it (so far has) always pops back into place when I straighten my leg. But it does leave my knee weaker and aching. (If you're wondering how I dislocated it, I was just sitting on the floor and went to get up. Yup that simple.) So my knee was weaker tonight and my trainer was pushing me. He seemed to forget that I had hurt myself today and wasn't just "wimping out". No hard feelings between me and him though despite that. He joked about hoping my husband doesn't ever piss me off. Lol.

So anyways, I got sidetracked. I spent two hours at the gym. Twenty minutes of walking/jogging before working out with Jeff (my trainer). An hour of working my butt off with him. Another 5-10 minutes of walking followed by 35 minutes on the elliptical. I kicked butt tonight. I'll be paying for it tomorrow. Lol.

Monday 03/14/11

196.8 today and 197.4 on Sunday.

So I have feel like I have a lot on my mind to put today, so I'm going to try to get it all out without it coming out in one big jumbled mess. Wish me luck!

I'm still losing and that's great! Yay! I still haven't gotten around to my "reward" for getting (and staying) under 200 pounds yet. (If you don't know, or have forgotten, it was to get a much needed haircut.) I am planning on doing that Wednesday evening. I am so ready to have my hair cut. It's too long for me, and it will help me to feel better about myself.

In just shy of two months, I've lost 10.2 pounds. I'm happy with that. It's not a fast loss, but it's still a loss and that's a plus. I'm averaging about 1-1/2 pound loss per week. If I stay at this rate, I'll reach MY goal in about 10 months. I say MY goal because according to certain sites, my goal should be about 13 pounds less than what I've set my goal to be. Honestly that weight (137 lbs.) is a number I really don't ever expect to see. The last time I was that light was right before and right after I had my first child (I was 131 lbs. then) and I think I looked too thin and unhealthy. My goal is to be around 150 lbs. and whatever weight I actually settle on I'll be okay with.

Workout clothes for me are so hard to find. I'm so picky about how things feel and the "weight" and "breathability" (is that even a word? off to Google that. According to Merriam-Webster, no, it's not a word.) of fabric. I am also unfortunately well endowed and that poses a whole different issue when it comes to clothing much less workout clothes. I have yet to find a sports bra that can hold up to the job it's put to. I currently wear two sports bras layered just to get enough support for day to day, but it falls short for the support needed for working out. I have some great workout pants from Target, but the weather is starting to get warmer and I need to find capris now. I get hot very easily and need to cut out any fabric I can or else I'll burn up. I have a couple of men's v-neck undershirts (gray in color) that I wear to workout that are a great weight and are a nice breathable fabric. I wish I could find more in a color other than gray or white. I'm sure everyone at the gym thinks that I wear the same thing every day I go. Lol. I wore a different t-shirt last Thursday when I went to the gym and I absolutely burned up the whole time. I really thought it was a lighter weight and breathable fabric. I guess not though. Workout wear is crucial. Still looking for the optimal sports bra and shirts to wear.

I've been eating my Nutrisystem foods off an on lately. Some aren't bad. Some are just plain awful and disgusting (those I don't tend to eat). No worse than any other meal replacement foods, diet meals or shelf stable meals you'd pick up at the store. I'm debating on if it's worth it or not to get another five weeks worth of food once I'm low on this order. I do like a lot of the treats and breakfast items. For the lunches and dinners they all seem to suck so far expcept for the meal bars and the thick crust pizzas. I still have plenty of time to decide though. Having the Nutrisystem foods on hand has helped me to eat more and bring my calorie intake up to a more normal level. I did pick up a bunch of meal replacement bars when I was at the grocery store the other day to add to my intake on days that I'm running low on calories. I'll just have to see how I do from here on out.

I'm still having some family/financial woes going on that are affecting things but I'm not letting them affect my eating or exercise. I went to the gym Saturday afternoon and did a round of cardio. Nothing much, but cardio none the less. I had planned to go again Sunday morning, but I didn't make it there because we had a rough night with our son Saturday night. (He's at the age where he's freaking out at night time and doesn't want to go to sleep in his room and if he wakes up at night he won't go back to sleep in his room.) We didn't get a good night's sleep, and we had lots to do so I didn't go to the gym. Oh well, I tried. Life gets in the way occasionally, but I'm not going to let it bring me down. I didn't fit in any exercise today, but I'm not stressing that either. Tomorrow's another gym night with the trainer.

My workout plan for the rest of the week is as follows: Tuesday I'll be in the gym with the trainer for an hour and I plan to get in 30-45 minutes of cardio on top of this. Wednesday I can't make it to the gym, so I'm going to try to fit in about 60 minutes of light cardio at home. Thursday I'll be in the gym again with the trainer for an hour and also 30-45 minutes of cardio. Friday I'm going to try to workout at the gym, but since I'm going to have to take my kids with me, I don't know if I'm going to get much in. I'm going to do as much cardio as I can get in before my son gets too cranky being in the child watch center. Saturday morning I'm going to try to go to the gym for 45-60 minutes of cardio and the same for Sunday. Wish me luck!

197.8 today, 197.2 yesterday and 196.6 on Thursday.

So I've lost some weight so far and thankfully I'm still losing, albeit slowly. I'll take a slow loss over no loss though. They say the poorer your habits are before starting to lose weight, the faster you'll lose it in the beginning. Well obviously my poor habits weren't really as bad as I thought they were, since I'm eating well and my weight's coming off slowly. I'm still struggling to get in enough calories per day, it's still too low on most days. I'm eating and I'm not hungry, but I'm just not taking in enough calories per day. I'm really working on this, but it's hard. Funny to hear a fat overweight person talk about not eating enough. So many people assume that you're heavy because you eat too much and make unhealthy choices of what to eat. That's not always the case.

Now don't get me wrong, I have been known to eat poorly. I still do. But for the most part, I really don't make the really unhealthy choices for things to eat when I go bad. Just somewhere in the middle really. I do make the really bad choices occasionally though. I won't deny that. It's just not the norm for me. I'm really struggling to eat enough. It's hard. I've been told I should start eating some nuts to bring my calories up without taking in a bulk of food. Even doing that is hard for me, but I think I'll buy some unsalted almonds and other nuts when I go grocery shopping soon.

Thursday I went to the gym, and I did 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical followed by an hour with our trainer. I felt like my ass was kicked big time on Thursday night, from the cardio all the way to the training. I managed to get in an hour of walking on my treadmill at home yesterday and also twenty minutes on my exercise bike. Nothing heavy duty, but cardio none the less. I'm waiting for my husband to get home from work so that I can go to the gym and get in 30-60 minutes of cardio today. I was losing my motivation because the scale wasn't moving at all but now that I've seen that it can and will move again, I'm motivated again. Funny how that works. If I can help it, I'll do cardio today and tomorrow at the gym.

198.8 today and 198.4 yesterday.

I'm still eating well. I've had a slight splurge here and there, but not very often. I'm still eating too few calories on most days. I really have a hard time getting it up around the 1700 calorie intake range that I need it to be. Today I only made it to about 1200-1300 which is not a lot. I really need to work on getting it around 1500-1700 per day. I'm doing much better on my fluid intake though.

I went to the gym last night, but all I did was walk on the indoor track. I did, however, walk for an hour. I would have hopped on the elliptical, but the gym was really busy last night, and they stayed busy. I didn't do any exercise today, but will be in the gym again tomorrow evening.

198.0 today and yesterday. 197.8 on Saturday.

As you can see my weight is at a standstill. I'm not losing, but I'm not gaining. I'm not eating and drinking enough on a daily basis. My fluid intake has dropped drastically, and I'm working on that. I haven't been actually counting calories, just kind of guessing. Well I'm not taking in enough calories on a daily basis, so I'm not losing. I'm working on that as of today.

Still realing from the financial blow that came our way, so my mind isn't fully in it right now. I haven't been exercising since I was at the gym on Thursday. I'm definitely going to shoot for more movement this week. I have some Redbox movies to return later on today, and instead of driving to the closest one I'm going to take the kids and walk there. Every bit counts.

197.8 today and 199.2 yesterday.

Depressed. Big time. That's my mood right now. Long story short and without naming names, my husband and I had a major financial blow hit us last night at the hands of some family members. There's not a whole lot we can do about it but hope and pray that this won't cause us to lose everything we have worked so hard for. We came up with a game plan, and we're hoping we can do what we need to do in the short amount of time and with the low funds we have to pull it off. I don't see any way for it to be done, but we don't have a choice since we've been thrown under the bus. Or at least that's how I feel. The others involved have their own issues and reasons, but that doesn't change how it affects my husband, myself and our children. I'm worried. So is my husband. We both felt absolutely sick to our stomachs last night with stress. I was barely able to eat dinner, and my husband never did. We stayed up late talking and brainstorming.

Moving on now. My eating has been on track, but I'm not taking in enough water/fluids per day. I have a hard time remembering that with my son and my niece around. I'm too busy trying to keep my drink away from my son, so often it's in the kitchen somewhere out of sight. The little guy loves to drink mommy, daddy and sissy's drinks so we have to keep them out of his reach and often out of his sight also. Keeping it out of his sight, means it's out of my sight. And out of sight, out of mind. At least for me that's how it works most of the time.

I made it to the gym again last night. Worked on on the elliptical for about 40 minutes and with the trainer for about 40 minutes. My legs hurt today. Actually they hurt last night before I even left the gym. I worked some muscles that I guess I don't normally work. I was supposed to go to the gym tomorrow morning with my sister, but looks like she's going to a movie instead. I'll still go by myself because I have a plan, desire and need to get in exercise when I can.

199.2 yesterday and today.

So I had lots on my mind until I actually sat down to write this. Now I'm just drawing a big blank, so forgive me if I ramble more than usual.

Yesterday I did make it to the gym, and I hated every minute up until I got there and up until I left to come home. I have problems with my hips, and they have gotten quite bad lately. The past several days have been beyond horrible. I hurt last night and therefore I walked really really slowly around the indoor track for my "warm up". I normally would do a few laps around that to loosen everything up and then hop onto an elliptical to get some decent cardio in. That was not going to happen last night. I was lucky to do some walking and then the weight machines that the trainer wanted us to do. I gladly walked out the door once the hour session was over. No exercise today, but I'll be back at the gym again tomorrow. I plan to hop on the elliptical tomorrow for a spell.

My eating has been pretty good overall, just eating more. Not too much more though. Yesterday I had a meal replacement shake for breakfast. Lunch was a tuna sandwich and three small apples. I had a string cheese before heading to the gym. Dinner was some turkey meatballs served with spaghetti squash. Or at least that's how I ate it. The hubs and the little guy had theirs with spaghetti noodles. The daughter had hers as a meatball sub. Dessert was a Skinny Cow cookies & cream ice cream sandwich.

Today I had a double portion of cereal for breakfast with 8 ounces of fat-free milk. (The daughter told me tonight that she doesn't mind the fat-free milk...I normally buy 1% for the family, but didn't this time because all of the expirations were too soon.) Lunch was a turkey meatball sub. I had an afternoon snack of Special K cracker chips and a chocolate peanut bar (130 calories). Dinner was a salad and Digiorno stuffed crust pizza (the daughter's request again) with some spicy Ranch dressing. Dessert will be another Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich.

I still don't feel motivated. In fact, I feel like mush. I feel like I could just bond with the couch and be happy. Not a good place to be mentally when it comes to being active. Granted I'm not just bonding with the couch because I have kids and a husband and lots of things to do on a daily basis. I just feel like I could.

I added another tab at the top of the blog with links to other blogs that I find helpful. I'll update it any time I think of another one that is or has been helpful.